Flowers on grave depicting grief after sudden loss | Photo by cottonbro studio
Life is unpredictable. One moment, you’re spending the happiest days with your loved one, and the next, they’re gone. It brings us sudden emptiness, which can be overwhelming.
How do you cope?
This article will discuss the nature of grief after the sudden loss of a loved one and how you can work around it.
Understanding the Nature of Grief After Sudden Loss
Normally, you’ll go through 5 stages of grief after the sudden loss of a loved one.
The sudden death of a loved one is traumatic. Imagine planning a surprise for their birthday the next morning. But when you wake up, they’re gone.
You had cheerful hopes before their passing. Colorful balloons, a special birthday cake, and an original composition were all laid out. Then, a dreadful moment happens unexpectedly. Imagine the weight of that situation.
Because it’s hard to accept, you will want to refuse the reality of the situation. Then you’ll become angry toward yourself and others. Subsequently, you will be overwhelmed by the situation to the point that you want to negotiate or make compromises.
After hopeless bargaining attempts, you will enter a depressive state. You will experience symptoms that affect not only your emotions but also your physical aspects. Eventually, when you’re ready, you’ll learn to accept the situation.
You will experience grief after the loss of a loved one uniquely. Especially when you’re a caregiver during post-pandemic, the burden is too heavy to carry.
But be strong. Know that we’re here to help you cope.
Learn caregiving tips from “One Caregiver’s Journey” by Eleanor Gaccetta that you can apply in post-pandemic caregiving. Get a copy at your preferred bookshop.
5 Coping Strategies for Grief After Sudden Loss
If grief is not managed well, it can be detrimental to your overall well-being. Unresolved trauma can have lasting effects on yourself and everyone around you.
Whether you are dealing with the sudden death of a parent, spouse, friend, or child, these coping strategies may help you:
1. Turn Denial into Acceptance
It’s not easy to accept the reality of the situation right away. The sudden death of a loved one takes time to process. There’ll be a moment where you’d want to believe they will come back to life in half an hour or that it’s only a staged phony death.
Please know that this is normal, and whatever you feel during this moment is valid. Give yourself time to process the situation. Eventually, you will learn to accept the reality and manage your emotions along the way.
2. Establish a Routine
Grief after the sudden loss of a loved one will make you lose interest in the things you used to love. Your favorite sports, beloved hobbies—they suddenly become meaningless to you. It’s normal. Don’t force yourself to get back on track. It’s a process that you have to go through at each step.
As much as possible, while in the process, maintain regular meal times, wake up at the same time early, or spare a regular schedule for quiet reflection.
3. Observe Self-Care
Take care of your body, mind, and soul. Stay hydrated and get enough sleep. Try walking or engaging in yoga activities to release stress. Avoid drowning yourself in too much grief so as not to overwhelm you.
Most importantly, maintain a healthy relationship with food. You don’t have to deprive yourself of the food that you crave. But, as always, have a balanced diet.
4. Express Your Emotions
Whatever you feel during this period is valid. Let your feelings flow freely, so they won’t bottle up. Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions. Shock, sadness, anger, fear, confusion—be free to express them.
5. Limit Stressors
Avoid stress as much as possible because it will only intensify emotional strain. Consider canceling major decisions that may involve moving to a new place or changing jobs. If you should look into them urgently, set a schedule so that you can mentally prepare effectively.
How to Get Closure When Someone Dies Unexpectedly?
Honor their legacy
Create a personal farewell. Maybe you can write a letter or create a scrapbook in honor of the memories of the deceased. You may also light a candle, plant a memorial tree, or visit a place you used to go with the person.
If it was your kid, you can also consider making a doll in their image. Create memorial objects or practice rituals that will commemorate your loved one in such a special way.
Let’s say you and your departed loved one used to sing a lullaby in 2 minutes before sleeping. You can do it as a routine to preserve the memories.
Give Yourself Time
Heal at your own pace. Getting closure does not mean forgetting them. It means you’re making peace with your loss. Your grief is a unique journey, and going through each stage is not linear. There’s a moment when you get angry, then reconcile with your loss. And when you start to accept the situation, you suddenly go back to the denial stage.
To some, the journey can be looped or entangled. Each of us deals with grief differently.
To learn more about a caregiving journey and how to reintegrate back into life grab a copy of One Caregiver’s Journey at Amazon, Barnes and Noble or www.onecaregiversjourney.com.
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