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Today, caregivers are the backbone of the well-being of families.  The financial burden of commercial senior care whether it is independent, assisted, or skilled nursing facilities is beyond the reach of most families.

The average cost of a month in senior care is nearing $12,000 per month.  The high cost of long-term care supplemental policies is also outside the reach of families.  Since the pandemic families have provided the bulk of caregiving to elder family members. According to AARP, family caregivers represent about $600 billion of unpaid labor annually. 

My book, One Caregiver’s Journey, is a journal of my nearly ten years of caregiving to my mother after she fell and broke her hip at the age of 93. I was her sole caregiver, with sporadic assistance that seldom allowed me to leave my home for things other than to buy groceries and run errands. My mother passed away in 2017 at the age of 102. I was the quintessential caregiver as I did it all. I bathed and dressed her, prepared three meals daily, kept the house immaculate, managed her medical appointments and medications, including giving her insulin shots, managed her and my finances, and assured her safety and wellbeing. When I look back at what tasks I did and how long I did it my reaction is to ask myself how I did it.

Caregiving took a drastic turn in 2020 when the pandemic struck, and families were thrown into the chaos of being caregivers to elderly parents, caring for their own children, and working remotely. It was then the stressful effects of caregiving became evident at the forefront in the form of physical, mental, and emotional issues. That was also when many entities stepped up to provide information and assistance to struggling families during the time when services were unavailable.

Today, as the population ages, the demands on family caregivers have increased and are taking an even greater toll on their minds and bodies. 

When I cared for my mother, I had little opportunity to seek support.

Today there is an abundance of support available to caregivers outside family and friends.  Social media provides an overwhelming number of avenues for caregivers to seek support for themselves, as well as how to find assistance and services they need for caregiving. Even though these resources are available, they do not eliminate the physical and mental toll that caregiving takes on the caregiver and families. Many caregivers are urged to participate in some type of support group.

I did not have time to zoom into meetings or worry about what others were experiencing. I had my own work to do.  In retrospect, that was not the right avenue to follow.

Support groups do help caregivers to cope with the rigors of the tasks.

Caregiving can be exhausting, and rest is not always assured for the caregiver.

To be sure, there are many unpleasant tasks that caregivers face which affect them physically and mentally. Sole caregivers experience and increased levels of stress, worry, and concern for the future.  For the family caregiver who also works full-time there is the added challenge of burnout from both jobs. To be sure, caregivers often suffer in silence.

In One Caregiver’s Journey, I discuss how (prior to becoming a caregiver) I had a vibrant social life, a very successful career, and the ability to earn a paycheck. That ceased when I began taking care of my mother. The multitude of “friends” I had diminished to three. Everyone moved on with their lives after it was clear I could not leave the house on a whim.

I was too focused at the task at hand with my mother to become emotionally wrapped up in the fact that my phone quit ringing and solitude would become my way of life. For many people, that scenario would become the basis for depression and emotional stress. I plowed through because my mother needed care, and chose not to focus on the fact that family members were traveling and enjoying their lives. I chose not to invite a pity party into my psychic.

My mantra was that I was just where I was supposed to be, and it is what it is.

I survived nearly ten years in that mode, and my mother had the care she deserved and needed. Moving on afterward is another blog for another day.

I was fortunate to have the support of the medical community that served my mother.  When she was in rehab after breaking her hip and a subsequent stroke, I was tutored on how to provide the care she needed. I listened to the advice of medical professionals and learned how to make both our lives easier. Today, there are many opportunities for caregivers to receive these same instructions which benefit our loved ones as well as help us to prevent physical injuries to the caregiver.

What do I mean?

Well, there are specific ways to assist a loved one up and down in bed and off chairs without causing injury to either of you. There are ways to assist a loved one from the shower or bathroom without harming their dignity or them. Knowing how to provide care for someone else without causing yourself physical harm is essential in caregiving. To be sure, caregiving is not a life sentence it will end. Caregivers need to take proper steps to ensure they can move on with their physical and mental health intact.

I encourage caregivers to heed the advice of others and do whatever is necessary to avoid physical and mental burnout or injury from caregiving.  I also encourage you to read One Caregiver’s Journey.

It is a snapshot in time of the realities of the changes and challenges of being a caregiver over time. Grab a copy at www.onecaregiversjourney.com, amazon, Barnes and Noble, Google Books or most online retailers.